Generational Trauma?

Overcoming Generational Trauma or not?

Usually, I, as the director, talk about the 4-Pillars of life as our core values and how we have implemented these values into each service we offer to the community. However, as a counselor experiencing and witnessing the repeated trauma manifesting in our communities, it feels necessary to share about Trauma Bonding.

Have you ever heard of Trauma Bonding? If you have, most of the time, it is within the constructs of an intimate love relationship. How do we explain the most recent news murder of Tyre Nichols at the hands of five black African American officers fired and criminally charged, including 2 additional officers? A white male who tazed Tyre was relieved of duties and not criminally charged, only revealed because of video and another not yet identified, 3 fire personnel, fired from duty.

Why is this important? Is this something new? Does it matter whether the black African American is in a marginalized community or not? Does it matter if the African American is male or female? Is the phenomenon of police brutality towards black African American males front and center because of phone cameras, street cameras, and social media?

Why is it 55 years after the Civil Rights Act of 1968, 59 years after the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and 157 years after the Civil Rights Act of 1866, the conversation of humanity for black African Americans yet an issue?

Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person, which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships; however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.

What is a trauma bond? 

A trauma bond connects an abusive person and the individual they abuse. It reflects an attachment created by repeating physical or emotional trauma with positive reinforcement. It can be hard to spot and even harder to break free from. Communal or systemic trauma bonding and repeated cycles are more elusive.

Cognitive function. When your brain is hijacked by emotional trauma, it can lead to cognitive issues, such as problems with memory and focus (concentration). In extreme cases, people cannot function at school or work because they are unable to focus on the tasks at hand.

What does repeat trauma do to a person or a community?

A skewed sense of self can be experienced in any trauma, but these are most prevalent when experiencing complex trauma. You have long-term difficulties in relationships, a sense of guilt, and shame, difficulties regulating emotions, low self-esteem, a distorted self-image, and a sense of hopelessness.

·        Verbal abuse

·        Loss of a loved one

·        Bullying

·        Living in high-stress areas

·        Neglect

·        Separation

Whatever creates emotional trauma, leaving it unresolved can lead to long-term consequences.

Anxiety

High levels of anxiety plague every waking hour after a traumatic event. While everyone worries from time to time, an anxiety disorder traps you in a flight-or-fight mode that can prevent you from functioning normally.

Re-experiencing or flashbacks

Even if trauma is well in the past, they experience flashbacks of the event triggered by certain reminders. These flashbacks are more than just an unpleasant memory; the same emotions you felt at the time quite vividly.  Also, you may find yourself struggling with ongoing fears and extreme worry.

 Behavioral changes

In an attempt to forget the past and to control their emotions, many people turn to substances, such as drugs or alcohol, which can very easily lead to substance use disorders if left unchecked.

By the same token, some people turn to food to cope with unresolved issues, which can lead to weight issues or eating disorders.

As well, some people turn to risky and dangerous behaviors, preferring the thrill of the moment to sit with their emotions and memories.

Health issues

Experiencing high levels of anxiety can cause widespread inflammation in your body, leading to several serious health issues, such as cardiovascular or autoimmune disease.

Cognitive function

When your brain is hijacked by emotional trauma, it can lead to cognitive issues, such as problems with memory and focus (concentration). In extreme cases, people cannot function at school or work because they are unable to focus on the tasks at hand.

Communal Trauma Bond is what exists between Systemic America and her abused black African American children or anyone with physical features from the African Diaspora is and has been traumatized by the ongoing abuse, murders, marginalization, and systemic racism that the country we love refuses to deal with. America at large, constantly re-living the same abusive behaviors, is in trauma. Flight or fight mode is an automatic physiological reaction to an event perceived as stressful or frightening.

Generational physical, emotional, and psychological abuse and trauma.  Watching the body language of both parents of Tyre was classic intense trauma, the officer’s obvious psychological trauma to engage in such behavior, and then the black African American community at large experiencing repeated generational trauma from abuse, witnessing the murder of our community for over 500 years.

Part of the knee-jerk response in how it is expressed repeated, marching, escalated destruction and violence, prayer vigils, news conferences, and demands, everyone including the population at large. Is violence escalated? Or is our access to see it escalated?

What’s the difference today from 1868, 1964, and 1968? What have we as a country not dealt with as an authentic responsibility, not a band-aid resolution? The last 3 years of violence, hate crimes, and the mental state of America are not in a healthy place.

The work includes safe places for people to heal. Express their truth and utilize the tools of our ancestors, which are simply those men, women, and children gone before us to heal. I challenge each of us to pause, reflect, and allow the feelings of pain, anger, and fear to push us towards hope beyond ordinary solutions of calm down until the next atrocity.

To learn more about trauma healing for yourself and or your family ministry or place of employment, please reach out to

Lurinda Jones, Director and counselor specializing in grief and trauma healing

Email: ljones@coinpm.org

Phone: 310-702-7592